Christmas Lists - ho ho ho!

My family is pretty low-key during Christmas. After years of getting shitty ill-fitting presents from our parents, my brother and sister and I have taken to writing out detailed lists of what we want. Every so often we successfully stray from lists (a Tivo for me, a Steve Grogan Patriots jersey for my brother, a photo calendar for my sister) but for the most part me are list people. You want a bathroom shelf from Target for Christmas, well guess what Santa has? A bathroom shelf from Target. And when in doubt, cash or a gift certificate is what Jesus would do. Everyone wins.

I ask my sister what her boyfriend, Ray would like and she emails me the following list. While you read the list keep in mind the following question: what is wrong with Ray?

- Skechers (he gets these EVERY year, I dont know how you wear through a pair of shoes in a year, especially in the suburbs)
- Plain white tee shirts from Old Navy (not v-neck) size XL- the ones I wear underneath my work shirts (wow way to dream big, Ray...although I should refrain from judging...my Christmas wishlist has printer ink on it...)
- Work shirts- size 17-17 1/2 / 34-35 for brands like Van Heusen; XL for brands like Polo (practical, good)
- Socks for work- black based with pretty patterns (once again a 'dream big' item. But notice his description of the socks "based with pretty patterns." I love that Ray turns into a dreamy Jane Austen when he talks about socks! "Please, mum, can I have some new socks based with pretty patterns like lilacs and horses? It is all I wish for before I die of consumption.")
- Smokes & beer (We travel from Jane Austen right into this white-trash century with this gem. "Smokes and beer" did I forget to mention that Ray is Judd Nelson's father from "The Breakfast Club.")

I like Ray and I would buy him smokes and beer if it weren't for my 8 year-old nephew. He already leaves beer and cookies for Santa instead of milk and cookies. I don't think this boy needs further corruption.