Just Freakin' Fantastic

I've been doing this radio show for about a month now and it has been a great time. I love essentially performing dumb-ass comedy with my friend for 16 hours a week. But there are down sides. I don't think I've done laundry in a full month. I keep buying undies, socks and t-shirts. And when you wake up at 1:30 pm on a regular basis, you start to feel a little insane. Once again, I am in a job where I feel a little like a hooker.

One of the effects of being on the radio is that my profile has been raised slightly. This is both a good and bad thing. I really love the stalkeresque fan mail I get because it is simotaneously sincere and totally creepy. And I will probably will love it too much and get killed. But for now it is a lark.

But I did get a hilarious email through my website that I will post. From the tone of it, I am thinking this fella has a sizable sense of humor. And he is clearly smart. The subject line to his email was “Jackie is Hot” and I’m a self-loathing actor-type, so he knew I would open it. But if I get murdered well it is this dude.

“Jackie...hook a brother up with an internship on free fm. I am an out of work aspiring actor that has tried the college thing for a while and is looking for something different and exciting that can make me money as well as fuel my desire to work in the entertainment industry. Thanks Babe. I’m 19...attractive...intelligent...and just freaking fantastic. I am serious about this...if you can set me up with a number..or a person who i could talk to for an interview...or whatever..I would appreciate it greatly..."

Looking for Someone Younger

I used to have a profile up on Nerve.com that I recently took down. I think internet dating is a great way to meet people, but I had no luck on Nerve. Most guys I met were really nice but not my speed. And to be fair, I was certainly not their speed. I'm a little louder than your average girl.

I realized a couple of days ago that I still had my profile up and I should probably go in and delete it. Which I did. But not before I cleaned out my mailbox and found a message from a male with the subject line of "I'm looking for someone younger." There was no text in the body of the message. I should also mention that he sent this to me UNSOLICITED. I never contacted him in the first place. He just looked at my picture, my profile and most certainly my age and decided to inform me that he needed someone younger than me. Who needs that kind of insult? What a goddamn bastard!

I should mention that this gentlemen is EASILY 15 years older than I am and has a creepy picture of him with a knit-sweater fishing. I mean...come on...are you burying a body or are you looking for an online sweetie?

Too bad "Emily's Reasons Why Not" was canceled (after one episode - well done Rollergirl). I could have sold them my drama.

Fun-Raiser

Yes I wrote FUN-raiser.

Get your drink on with the cast of
"Showgirls: The Best Movie Ever Made. Ever!"
and help send us to the San Fransisco Sketch Festival with a
**PARTY! PARTY! PARTY! PARTY!**
Saturday, January 14th | 8pm - close
$6 cover (gets you one free drink)
DUSK 147 West 24th St (BTW 6th and 7th)

I love you Tim Gunn

"It is more fabulous than I can say." - Tim Gunn, "Project Runway

I'm obsessed.

My Sister, Ali "Dr. Phil" Clarke

I am obsessed with my sister. She is a no-nonsense chick, a real 40s-style "broad" and I mean that in the best way possible. I've always wanted to develop an Oprah/Dr. Phil style show around my sister. She has this perfect, slightly devious way of seeing the world.

For example, my sister on:

- Self-service check-out at grocery stores: “These are great because if you buy a bag of peppers you can hold the bag a little while you weigh it you can basically get some free peppers.”

- Having the flu: “I think someone took a crap in my head.”

- Ending up like our bigamist father: “Put me down if I ever end up like that.”

- My taste in men: “They are all man-babies. It’s just the level of man vs baby. Maybe you should stop dating children.”

- Her son, Troy, moments after she said she couldn’t wait to see him: “ok i take back everything I said. He is being a pain in the ass.”

Screw Rachael Ray. Give my sister a show!

I love NYC!

So I'm walking down the street yesterday and I happen upon the cutest thing I've ever seen! A bird with no middle! For realsie. This bird has no middle. What the fuck? How did this happen? Where is the head and butt and all of that stuff? I wonder if there is a monster loose in Manhattan. Glad I live in Brooklyn!

Official Radio Debut

Tonight is my official debut on the radio - "The Jake and Jackie Show." Pretty crazy! Here are all of the details:

For those in the NYC Metro Area
MON - THURS 11pm - 3am
92.3 WFNY FREE-FM

Others can listen to us online here.

Visit our official Free-FM bio and Podcast page and our MYSpace page.

And, oh yes, cross your fingers :)

2006 Rocks!

So far 2006 has been great for the pocketbook! I found a total of $11 on the street yesterday. If I can keep that pace up, money on the street will cover my Optimum Triple-Play (cable, phone and internet) each month.

I should mention that on New Years Eve I lost $20 and most of my dignity. But that's 2005...the past is for suckers!

Keep on rockin' out 2006. I'm off to see "Munich" now wearing a wool coat from the Munich Olympics. Synergy is pretty fucking classy.